The Time at work is long and the time at home is short.

This week just didn’t want to go or end. Wednesday I found myself trying so hard to focus and stay awake as I could feel the flu is coming as it was last time but it just teased me and I think it’s doing it again. Tuesday I went to get my hair done, there is just something about getting ones hair and nails done that makes you feel ten times better. I am trying to have it more red but with the black it is hard for the first result to be 100 percent spot on but the highlights are like amazing weird how that shows more than the red but it’s something I won’t understand and not going to try now either. By the second one I am sure and hoping it will get lighter and closer to the result I want. With the winter this year my hair is so static and sticks to my face the whole time so not funny anymore.

I can’t flippen believe it, really this work of Willems I just don’t know what to do any more I know it is not his fault and all but I am just hopeless. We learnt early on in our relationship that when we plan something in advance it doesn’t really work out the way we hope so yeah you would think I would stick to that rule but yeah I guess I was just so excited to have Willem back again real soon that I just started planning saying we will go there and here and ja looks like I am going to have to cancelled it all. No words for the feeling I have just speechless.

But with all the badness of not knowing when I will see him again I also just want to say I am proud of him and his work and how far is has come. I know he deserves nothing but the best and I am happy that they see the greatness and the potential he has to offer. I just hope with the promotion it makes you happy and all.

Last night has a hard phone call it’s like we didn’t know what to say other than, It sucks, were are sorry and yeah hahahah. I found myself in tears again just really missing him and wishing we weren’t in this situation. I try to think positively about it all things like at least I get to hear from him and what has happened now isn’t that bad it’s out of our control and let’s just make the best of it. MIND OVER MATTER. I am just praying hard and long that God takes the wheel of our relationship become the center pint and help us, carry us and form us so that things as small as this doesn’t break us, yet instead makes us stronger and closer more bonded so that in the end we look back and know this is where we want to be that it was worth all the sweat blood and tears.

No matter what the situation no matter how hard I won’t give up on what we have and will have, when you know that in your heart this is the real thing everything in your body gives you a hundred reasons to carry on when you feel like you have fallen. I LOVE YOU WILLEM!

The car story no one really wants to talk about as it just doesn’t seem to want to get anywhere or get fixed already, some times it’s like you have to lick their butts to get things sorted. But I hope for my parent’s sake it gets sorted fast with not too much money that needs to be put in. Had to drive with my brothers car to work Wednesday let’s just say I am happy to have my golf back, my mother does not like to drive his car and I know now why and so she needed to go to town so I let her use mine for the day.

Getting there slowly with the editing of the pictures planning this weekend to be under the blanket and to edit, edit and did I mention edit? See how far I get.

My dad is having me choose what to study again and I am torn between secretary, photography or journalism. Doing secretary work now makes me realize that maybe this is not want I really want to be doing with my life that I need to do something else. So will see what happens there trying not to think too much about it but as we all know I’m an over thinker, I should rather try be an over achiever darn it.

There came this email through and I really liked how it was said:

BELIEVE WHAT YOU FEEL

On this day, Morrie says that he has an exercise for us to try. We are to stand, facing away from our classmates, and fall backward, relying on another student to catch us. Most of us are uncomfortable with this, and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping ourselves. We laugh in embarrass-ment.

Finally, one student, a thin, quiet, dark-haired girl whom I notice almost always wears bulky, white fisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes, leans back, and does not flinch, like one of those Lipton tea commer-cials where the model splashes into the pool..

For a moment, I am sure she is going to thump on the floor. At the last instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders and yanks her up harshly.

"Whoa!!" several students yell. Some clap. Morrie finally smiles. "You see", he says to the girl, 'you closed your eyes, That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling".

Which I am sure many would agree with me on that one!

So happy its Friday need to sleep late and well if the weekends weather is like today’s then I will find myself under a blankie 24/7.

I hope everyone has a great weekend, be strong and take things head on!